The “Insert Here” Awards, and Trying to Keep SF/F Perpetually 12 Years Old

So… the “Tron Guy” wrote a ridiculous post on the Black Gate website proposing a new award for SF&F because there aren’t any awards that he, personally approves of. While I don’t really have a problem with the perpetual twelve-year-olds of the genre building their own 501(c)(3) NO GURLS, QWEERS, OR POCS ALOWED!!!1 treehouse, (frankly, they can do as they want) my snark didn’t really fit within the confines of Twitter, so.

Tron Guy wants the “Insert Here” award for SF&F Storytelling. As opposed to… literally every other award in SF&F, which somehow manage to not be about storytelling, apparently.

“… it’s a way to ensure that at least one set of awards for SF/F represent what it’s truly about: the story above all else.”

Which means… what, exactly?

From comments by tron guy himself:

The Water That Falls on You from Nowhere and Ancillary Justice. The former is a standard coming-out story with a bit of fantasy bolted on the side, and the latter, while it may be military space opera, wouldn’t have had the acclaim it did if it hadn’t been for the gimmickry used to drive home the SJW-approved message about gender.”

No messages about gender, OH NO. Is Tron Guy too hypocritical to realize that all fiction has a message to it, even if he agrees with it sometimes? Or is his reading comprehension too low to notice said messages? It is a mystery.

“See, for example, the protagonist in Lock In, whose gender is left unspecified throughout the entire book. Scalzi’s been praised for doing so, but to me, it leaves me unable to form a mental image of the character, and I have a much harder time reading a work if I can’t picture the characters involved.”

Nothing that requires effort to read! NO! NO! NOOOO!

File:Darth vader no.gif

Ok, ok, so the problem with awards in the genre, such as the Hugos, is presumably two-fold, by Tron Guy’s reckoning:

  1. Because he disagrees with the winners of said awards, they Do Not Represent TRUE fandom.
  2. It is full of icky SJW-approved messages, and has been infiltrated by the PC police, who won’t let Just Plain Stories win awards.

Fixing the problem of the Hugos not being accessible to enough eligible voters, well, that’s admirable, right? I mean, the fact that you have to pay to be a member of Worldcon to vote is usually a barrier to some people, if only as a contribution to general “meh” over having a say, unless the Hugos are in the process of being hijacked by some racist fucknuggets.

So, obviously, Tron Guy announced how he’ll make the Insert Here award more open, right? Perhaps, no cost to vote? Actively reaching out to groups of fans who don’t typically vote in major genre awards to see what they liked this year?

Let’s see:

To become an eligible voter for the (insert name here) Awards, a person must be vouched for by one or more existing eligible voters.

But… wouldn’t that… limit the number of fans able to vote?

This is defined as having a trust level of 1 or greater. When first registering to vote, a person’s trust level is 0.

So if you decide to vote, you first have to prove yourself, or what? How does one do that? Are you given secret award secrets to test if you leak them to the Evil SJWs?

An existing eligible voter whose trust level is 3 or greater may raise or lower the trust level of up to three other people by 1 each, and this number rises by 1 with each additional trust level until a maximum of a trust level of 10 is reached.

Are we voting for an award here, or designing a tabletop game?

The undersigned, as well as prior recipients of a (insert name here) Award and current and past members of the Foundation Board of Directors and Judging Committee, may raise or lower the trust level of any person by 1. A voter may not raise the trust level of anyone who raised his own, nor of anyone in the chain of trust leading back to those holding unlimited trusting privileges.

Ok, but what happens if someone registers to vote and none of your friends knows that person personally? Do you just reject them out of hand? Does that mean that they’re not actually a science fiction and/or fantasy fan? Yeah, I’m being facetious. Obviously this award to make sure that all of fandom gets a voice and that true fandom can vote on awards untainted by SJWs intends to limit the voting membership to Tron Guy’s friends. Which, more power to you, but why do you think anyone is stupid enough to believe your stated reasons for the award?

I’d respect the NO GURLS ALOWED clubhouse shit-show more (not a lot more, but more) if Tron Guy were just honest about wanting to be in charge of the genre and what is Considered Good SF Storytelling.

All registration and trust level processing shall be done automatically by the (insert name here) Award website. All records of trust levels being raised or lowered shall be retained for a period to be determined by the Foundation Board of Directors; this period is intended to be limited only by practical methods of data storage.

This last bit is quoted just because of my own personal LOL. Keeping a record of who vouched for who to make sure that NOT ONE SINGLE voter is improperly allowed to vote, and, presumably, to make sure that if someone turns out to be an SJW, the people who vouched them can be reprimanded for their lapse in judgement sounds like a lovely breeding ground for future hilarious drama.

So, he’s going to “give all of fandom a means of influencing an award that represents them” by starting an award that can only be voted on by people that he and his friends “trust”. Sounds legit.


What about his second concern, that SJW disapproval is ruining science fiction for the rest of us?

Obviously, in order to make sure that the award isn’t hijacked by political grudge matches, and the like, and that political correctness won’t ruin the awards, it’s important to make sure that worthy, interesting, GREAT STORIES aren’t excluded. Therefore, obviously no work should be excluded for politics, right? Clearly the voice of the voters should be tantamount, and whatever they say, goes. After all, these are voters with “trust levels” who need to have their very own award that isn’t tainted by politics.

The nominees are then considered by the Judging Committee. The judges shall evaluate each work solely by its storytelling. The judges may disqualify any work they find to have an emphasis on other than telling a good SF/F story.



It’s hilarious, because this award proposal is abysmally stupid, and so very obviously full of shit. It’s not-so-hilarious, because I think Tron Guy believes the shit he’s shoveling, and truly does believe that  a story about gender neutral/gender unmentioned/queer/POC/women can’t possibly be Good Storytelling. That’s depressing because it’s just same-shit-different-day.

That said, Maynard can continue to gleefully tootle the Tron theme on his dog whistle if he wants while I go back to writing filthy “SJW-approved” fiction, like the 8,000 word NOVELETTE I currently have in Uncanny issue 6 (available if you buy the issue now, and free in October), or the flash I’ve got in Fireside Magazine.


Best Novella – Written SF/F stories between 5,000 and 50,000 words in length.
Best Short Story – Written SF/F stories 5,000 words in length or shorter.

Giving yet another god damned word-range to what counts as novella is not going to minimize voter confusion, for the love of Jesus H. Tiptree.


PPS: I’m now a grad student and will not complain if you throw money at:

Just saying.

GlitterShip Episode #1!

Hey all!

Just a quick update before I head off to Norwescon today.

For the past month, I’ve been working on starting an LGBTQ-themed science fiction and fantasy podcast named GlitterShip. (And Kickstarting it so that I can pay the authors who are submitting fiction to be featured). The first episode has just come out today, so you can check it out here:

The Kickstarter to fund GlitterShip will run until roughly mid-day on April 8th, so if you like the first episode, you can still help fund it. :)

(I’m still hoping to hit $6k so that I can start running some original fiction as well!)

Thank you for checking it out, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Brief Emerald City Comic Con note:

I will be helping out at the Clarion West / Clarion table at ECCC this year!

The table is located in booth 2804, which is on the 6th floor, near all the celebrity guests, and some other writers and stuff. Also, I think the University Bookstore will have a booth near there, so if you wander over and happen to find a book with one of my stories in it, like maybe thiiiis one: Wastelands 2, edited by John Joseph Adams, I will totally sign it for you. Or in spite of you, if you get too close. I have a pen.

Emerald City Show Floor: LINK!

If you want to say hi, I strongly recommend trying to meet up with me while I’m at the table to make plans, because we all know that our phones are going to be like super fancy bricks during most of the weekend, right? I will probably get any texts or emails after I’ve left the con for the evening.

I am also in Seattle and thus “around” for most of the rest of the weekend if people want to meet up for dinner/lunch/whatever, but my badge is associated with the table, so I won’t have a ton of time to do things that are actually in the con.



I will be at the table at the following days and times:

Friday 3/27: 10am – 1pm

Saturday 3/28: 2pm – 5pm

Sunday 3/29: 10am – 11am & 1pm – 5pm

Come have a chat about Clarion, writing, the sky, science, GlitterShip, the unusual habits of small dinosaurs, etc!

Norwescon 38 Schedule (April 2-5, 2015)

Hey all! It’s almost time for Norwescon again. Whee. I’m on quite a lot of programming this year, so if you want to come see me, there are ample opportunities. (Also if you are going to be at the con and want to get dinner/lunch/drinks/whatever with me, I strongly recommend messaging me ahead of time. I will have access to email and etc through my phone while I’m there, but as you’ll soon see, there are a lot of events to work around.)

This may also TRAGICALLY be my last Norwescon for a while. I’ve received offers to attend PhD programs (in the biological sciences or genetics depending on the school) on the east coast. I’m not 100% sure which school I’m ending up at, but I’ll either be moving to the Boston area, New York City (Manhattan! woo) or Long Island. It’s possible that I will be able to come back for Norwescon. But… it’s somewhat unlikely, because I will either be researching, taking classes, or even teaching. And, to be honest, if I fly back to Washington, I’ll want to be able to come for at least a week so I can, well, you know, visit family and friends. As you do.

Anyway, here’s my super busy schedule, so you can start thinking about what panels you’d like to attend! I’m all over the board, with writing panels, social justice panels, a reading, an INGRESS panel, and even… duh duh DUHHHH a science panel!


Ingress: What Is It?
Thu 3:00pm-4:00pm – Cascade 7&8

Writers Workshop
Thu 5:00pm-6:00pm (Only listed so you know I’m BUSY at this time.)

Why Can’t They Get It Right?
Thu 8:00pm-9:00pm – Cascade 3&4


Writers Workshop:
Fri 10:00am-11:00am (Only listed so you know I’m BUSY at this time.)

How to Write Vivid Scenes
Fri 11:00am-12:00pm – Cascade 9

Diversity in Spec Fic Publishing
Fri 2:00pm-3:00pm – Cascade 3&4

Writers Workshop:
Fri 4:00pm-5:00pm (Only listed so you know I’m BUSY at this time.)

Denied: A Story of Rejection
Fri 6:00pm-7:00pm – Cascade 3&4


Sat 11:00am-12:00pm – Cascade 9

Molecules of Life
Sat 1:00pm-2:00pm – Cascade 7&8

Autograph Session 1
Sat 2:00pm-3:00pm – Grand 2

Reading: Keffy R. M. Kehrli
Sat 4:00pm-4:30pm – Cascade 1
Keffy R. M. Kehrli

Transphobia: A Panel for Allies of Transgender Folk
Sat 6:00pm-7:00pm – Cascade 10


Dissecting the Weird
Sun 11:00am-12:00pm – Cascade 5

The Best in Recent SF
Sun 1:00pm-2:00pm – Cascade 10

PHEW! It’s going to be a busy con, but it should be a lot of fun. Also, I will try not to drive everyone nuts talking about the GlitterShip Kickstarter that I’m running – it ends on April 8, which is a few days after Norwescon. I’m kind of boggled at how high the total is so far, since I’m only on day 4 and it’s just crested $3,000.

For more about GlitterShip, check out the webpage!

Thanks for all your support, everyone, and I’m looking forward to crawling back out of the depression cave to make things for you all again.


GlitterShip open(ish) for submissions:

What’s all this then!?

I’m starting an audio fic/interview podcast focusing on reprints of queer/lgbtqi-etc fic. Authors do not need to identify as queer to submit their reprints, though queer authors, authors of color, and authors of other marginalized identities, are specifically encouraged to submit.

I’m opening right now to get a few stories to start with, and once it’s running, I will probably (sorry, but I’m broke) do a small crowdfunding campaign to cover a year or so of fiction.

I don’t know how long I will stay open, but either until Nov 30th or I get enough stories I love, whichever happens last. Then subs will close while things get rolling. (And then reopen.)

I want to have a few episodes up before asking anyone for money because I want to show what the ‘cast will be like.

Pay: 1c/word*

Rights: Non-exclusive English language audio & non-exclusive English electronic reprint rights.

Wordcount: 100 – 5000 words

Genre: Science fiction, fantasy, horror, interstitial, speculative, whatever. It’s an SF/F mag, but if in doubt, send it.

Attach stories in standard manuscript format .rtf/.doc/.docx format and send to audiosubs at keffy dot com. Please note in your coverletter if you are interested in being interviewed and if you have a book or something coming out.


But what about previously unpublished stories?

At this point I do not believe that I will have the funding to pay a fair or reasonable price for original fiction. I also admit that this is something of a way to limit the scope of the project while I am getting started. If you have original queer speculative fiction, I STRONGLY recommend that you send it to the Lightspeed Magazine Queers Destroy SF special issue, or Vitality Mag. Or any of the science fiction and fantasy magazines listed on The Submissions Grinder.

*If the crowdfunding does well enough that I am able to pay more, authors in the first few episodes will be paid the difference in pay rates.

My Orycon 36 Schedule

Hey all! I will be in Portland for Orycon this weekend!



1-2pm Publishing Ethics

2pm-2:30pm – MAH READING. I will be reading “She Dances On Knives” unless I decide we need something funny. I’M BRINGING CHOCOLATE.

4-5pm Short stories, Novelettes, Novellas, and the Markets that Love Them



seriously I have no panels. I’m giving a crit at noon, but I’m free otherwise.

***I might escape and go play Ingress just saying

***that’s a filthy lie, I’ll either be studying, freelancing, or reading for Illustrious Feminist SF


11am-noon Giving Effective Readings

1-2pm Women in SF – I may not be on this panel. I had completely forgotten who was all on it and when it as when Wendy was discussing it on Twitter. But yeah, it’s about women in SF and three of us are guys, so if we can find a more appropriate substitute, I will be giving her my spot.

The 2014 Clarion UCSD Blog Post (of doom)

It’s that time of year again! This year, the Clarion UCSD Write-a-Thon runs from June 22 to August 2. Yesterday was the first day, and although I was generally distracted by BRIGHT SUNLIGHT, I completed 2 of my 150 hours of butt-in-chair time. I also completed my first SUPER SECRET blog post. :)

If you don’t know what the Write-a-Thon is, you can check out the main page here:

My profile is here:

Short version is that I’m doing the Write-a-Thon to raise money for the Clarion UCSD workshop, which I attended in 2008. The workshop is a nonprofit, and it depends on donations to keep costs down for the students (and it’s already PLENTY expensive). Clarion is a six-week, intense science fiction/fantasy short story workshop. I had a blast while I was there and learned a ton, so I’d like the workshop to continue so that more people can attend in the future.


If you tried to send a donation in the past week, check my profile. So far, the only confirmed money I have is from the people who are listed on that page. The Write-a-Thon emails me to tell me when I receive donations or sponsorships, but it doesn’t send me an email or any other identifying information. If you tried to donate and never got a paypal login page, then something went wrong and you might have to try again. I know, it’s a bummer! I’m not sure who’s in charge of the site design, but I think it’s generally a work in progress each year.

You can also drop me a line in email (kehrli at gmail dot com), comments on my website, or in my tumblr ask box.


The satisfaction of having donated to an awesome workshop! And you have encouraged me not to just give up now! Yay! Encouragement! I am AN ENCOURAGEMENT SPONGE.


If you go to my member profile and either donate or sponsor me for $10 or more, I will send you the SUPER SECRET password and url for my clarion website. The posts will contain what I’m working on, as well as my discussion afterward regarding what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and how I feel about what I’m writing. YES! You’ll get to read raw, unfinished fiction. O____O;

I will even answer process questions! Well, if you have them.

If $10 is a bit steep for a donation to a writing workshop, for $5, I’ll send you an ebook (hopefully I’ll be able to get it into mobi, epub, and pdf) containing several of my previously published stories, some of which are not currently available online.

If you have TONS of money to throw at good causes this month, and you drop $25 or more in my bucket (and are a writer), I will critique one of your short stories (up to 5000 words in length). I am a professionally published SF/F short story writer and I currently edit for Shimmer Magazine. I know things!

Obviously, this subdomain is already up (and I’ve just put up my post for Day 1), but the ebook is going to take a few more days to get put together. My critique turn around will be about a week after you send me the story, and you can wait to send me a story for critique until you’ve got one finished. :)


Finally, I know that the donation site is not completely intuitive. If you’re sponsoring, it should let you choose how much to sponsor me for (7 cents for each of the 150 hours will get you to about $10), and then it’ll just be done. If you’re not going to make an account and just want to donate, you should be able to choose to skip registration. After skipping registration and choosing an amount to donate, the website should automatically open PayPal or another payment window.

If it doesn’t open that up, you can either email the site or just try again. Otherwise, it’ll just show your donation as “unconfirmed” for a few days before it vanishes. Eep.

Also, although Clarion sends me an email from the treasurer to inform me that I’ve received sponsorships and donations, they do not share any of your information with me. Therefore, after donating, please drop me an email: kehrli at gmail dot com so I can send you the password / ebook / etc.


I’m using the Write-a-Thon this year to really get on track to write regularly. It’s taken several years to do this because it (embarrassingly) took until earlier this year for me to finally get treated for depression. It’s kind of a long story, but it’ll probably get mentioned in the posts when I discuss the problems I’m having jump-starting my writing productivity.

Back in 2008, I went to Clarion in San Diego, and it was definitely a life-changing experience. Prior to that, I hadn’t sold any short stories, so my acceptance into the workshop was the first time I got external validation regarding my fiction writing.

I have blogged occasionally about Clarion and what it meant to me. In order to read the posts that I wrote about Clarion while I was there (and a few I wrote afterward), check out the clarion and clarionucsd tags on my old LJ:

Anyway, thanks for visiting and/or donating! If you have any further questions, either pop them into the comment box here or drop me an email: kehrli at gmail dot com.

Even if you can’t/don’t feel like donating to Clarion or sponsoring me in the Write-a-Thon, please do share this with your friends, especially if any of them might be interested in reading my write-a-thon blog posts and/or getting a professional short story critique.

What I did this year… as far as I remember.

Well, I had a few short stories come out this year, and I went to some conventions. I’m still more-or-less employed, still more-or-less carrying my Clarion debt, and still haven’t gone surgeon hunting because a) not enough money b) the plan was to lose weight first… welp.

I managed to acquire more books than I read, again. (Which was less of a financial burden than it sounds due to how many of them were purchased on sale/clearance/given to me.) I should probably cull the shelves. Even if I wanted to read all these (not always true anymore) I think I have at least 10 years worth of books unread.

I had a few short stories come out. I’m listing them here because even though it’s a pathetically small number, it’s more than I managed last year, so there’s that.

“Mice” in Fireside (August 2013).
“Gazing into the Carnauba Wax Eyes of the Future” in What Fates Impose (Sept 2013).
“HELP FUND MY ROBOT ARMY!!!” in Lightspeed (Oct 2013). [Link]
“This is a Ghost Story” in Apex (Nov 2013). [Link]

Of these, I’m still astonished that Ghost story and Robot Army sold in the first place. Ghost Story, for one, contains poetry. LOOK I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD WRITE POETRY? (maybe I can’t) SO IT’S STILL WEIRD TO ME THAT I EVEN DID. I’m still overly proud of the story, though, so I don’t know. Go read it or whatever.

HELP FUND MY ROBOT ARMY!!! also inspired a kickstarted anthology which over-funded.

I have four reprints on deck for some time next year. Two of these are foreign rights sales (French and Polish), one is HELP FUND… for the Kickstarted anthology and the other is a reprint that was accepted back in March, but Stuff occurred, so I’m still waiting for the okay to announce that one.

I did turn in a short comic proposal this year. I don’t feel super hopeful about it, mostly because I know they can only buy 10-ish out of the 220 open call proposals that came in. This is not very many, and I suspect there are people in that pile with much more impressive comics/writing/art credits.

I’ve finally figured out what I needed to make a webcomic concept I’ve been playing with for years interesting enough to start drawing it, though I’m holding off right now because a) I need to draw dogs, dogs, dogs, more dogs, and dogs and b) I need to figure out what layout works best: page? strip? individual panels? WHAT. So I don’t know when that will go live, since after I figure that out I have to work up a reasonable backlog before I start posting. See also: things I learned about webcomics by doing it all wrong the first time.

What if I just want to draw hands for other artists.

I went back to freelance writing for one job, which I promptly worked my ass off to finish in five days and then got stiffed by the customer, who disappeared from the face of the planet, although the text I wrote for him is being happily used on some fucking website. This kind of killed what little I AM GOING TO MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO GET TOP SURGERY momentum I had because I don’t have the time or energy to do stuff for assholes for free. It’s probably time for another batch of angry emails, but I hate writing emails and to be honest, I feel demoralized enough to just pretend that it didn’t happen. Oh my god, do I ever fucking hate chasing people down for payment.

To be honest, my overwhelming feeling regarding the last year is wondering why I even bothered. The number of open calls that I wanted to write stories for but couldn’t finish because I was having trouble creating my way out of a paper bag is too high to mention. (And I’m fucking ashamed). I feel even more strongly like whatever YAY NEW WRITER promise I might have pretended to have a few years ago is fully gone and squandered. Which is all stuff I probably shouldn’t even say, so when nobody wants fiction from me, it’s really my own fault. Surprise! I still suck.

I’ve got messy half-drafts of three short stories, and am still fucking around with the vampire book that people tell me not to call a vampire book, but I think I’m at about 10 completely separate reasons as to why it’s Never Going To Sell, so whatever. Gay. Vampires. One of the characters smokes. Right now 0.3% of the words in the rewrite are “fuck.” It may or may not be YA. Etc. No, but seriously, more people should totally go LOLSNORT TWILIGHTTHHHHNNNNNGGGG at me because that’s fucking clever. Good job, nobody else has ever thought to compare any and all mentions of vampires to Twilight, you must be a god-damned genius.

That said, this year I did watch about 3 minutes of one of the Twilight movies because it contained Vampire Baseball, which was just as awesomely stupid as I expected, up to and including the fact that apparently vampires don’t know the difference between the hand signals for “safe” and “out.” (“WHOO~! OUT!” he screams, gesturing “safe” with his stupid vampire arms.)

I have been watching some newer TV shows. I wanted to like Sleepy Hollow, but it was too stupid and not interesting enough to hold my attention. I think I made it one or two episodes past the massively awful Magical Indian episode.

Almost Human tried to be good, and I do love Karl Urban, but cops cops cops all shows are about cops if the show isn’t about cops why even bother cops cops cops cops cops. This also applies to Sleepy Hollow, which would have been 99% less stupid if the protagonist hadn’t been a cop. Seriously, if she’d had literally any other job, it would have been a much better show.

I am still watching Dracula, also known as Crackula, because it’s incomprehensible nonsense but it’s entertaining incomprehensible nonsense. Sure, Van Helsing is a mad scientist who brought Dracula back to life so that together they can perfect green, wireless energy and destroy British big oil. Or… whatever is going on. I don’t know. I admit that I have trouble telling all the random British dudes apart. So far their sideburns are my best bet. Plus, it’s not about cops. Is it the only TV show on all of TV that’s not about cops? I think so.

Movies: Catching Fire was as good as the first movie in the series and was exactly what I wanted it to be. Byzantium (MORE VAMPIRES) was an awesome movie, if you like moody vampires staring off into space and being moody and then killing some dudes. Which I do. I rented a bunch of things that were mostly terrible, so I won’t talk about those. I also actually enjoyed Gatsby for the costumes and:

-Although the movie overall seemed to be trying to recreate the feeling of reading Fitzgerald in a 10th grade English class. HERE, LET ME PICK OUT THE THEMES AND PUT THE TEXT UP ON SCREEN FOR YOU.

In 2014, I’ll turn 30, so I’ll close out my 20s without having accomplished much of anything and with nobody to blame but myself for it. So that’s fun, I guess.

In short: wah, I want 2014 to be better, but I feel like I’ve run out of “try” and I’m honestly not sure what to do now. I feel terribly cut off if I turn off social media, but I get stressed out when I leave it on. (It feels like Twitter consists of nothing anymore except for Important Hashtags that end up getting trolled and notices that friends of friends have succumbed to suicide.) I feel like I only have two emotions anymore, despair and anger. So, there’s that. I’d say “here’s to 2014 being better” but to be honest, everything I hated about 2013 was under my own control, and I have no idea what to do anymore. New Year’s is typically the only holiday I give a shit about anymore, and today I’d like to just pretend it isn’t happening.

What am I looking forward to in 2014? Right now, nothing.

This is a Ghost Story published.

Well, okay, so it’s been out for almost 2 weeks now, but excruciating lateness is about what you should expect from me in the blog arena.

“This is a Ghost Story” is in the November issue of Apex Magazine, so go read it. The rest of the issue is also pretty awesome, with stories by Vajra Chandrasekera, Bogi Takács and Jim Hines. Plus poetry from actual poets Rose Lemberg and Alexandra Seidel.

I feel like since this is a blog, I should have more to say about the story, but I can’t think of any introduction to it that wouldn’t seem utterly ridiculous, completely depressing, or a horrific combination of the two. I wrote it. Lynne bought it. Apex published it, and now it’s there.

It’s the first thing I’ve ever published that had poetry in it, for better or worse, so there’s that.

If you enjoy it, please consider reviewing the story or the issue wherever you write reviews. Or comment or something. Actually, you can also review it if you don’t like the story, because, whatever. I actually enjoy reading my negative reviews because there’s something perverse deep in my mind.

It’s also available in audio (read by Lynne), for the Apex podcast.

In other story-related news, the HELP FUND MY ROBOT ARMY!!! kickstarter funded, so that anthology will eventually be unleashed to continue the complete destruction of the entire literary world.